There’s Change in the Air, A Deepening

Currently I am reading several books, Avalon Within, by Jhenah Telyndru which I started a couple weeks back, and In the Shadow of 13 Moons by Kimberly Serman-Cook which I started today. Both of these books are books that I brought a last year but have never read.  This is often the way of Pagan books for me, I purchase them and they sit on my book shelf looking all shiny and new, with that new book smell until until I get an urge to read them.  And it is an urge, like a guiding hand or little voice that says you know those books you brought x months ago, it is now time to read them.  Only this time the little voice also said, and quite firmly I might add, this time you will be doing the work in said book.  O.O gosh!  

Both books have a theme of self development and use a Pagan style frame to do the work.  Both books are concerned with shadow work and working with a cycle of healing that involves a lot of looking at the self.   Perhaps the words 'deepening the understanding' of the self is better phrasing.  Both of these books use the seasons and the moon cycles as important aspects of the framework to use for this self exploration.  Gosh it’s like there is a theme or something,*coughs*  or something.  Self ! I do believe I will be doing some self development of sorts yes?.. *smiles*

Avalon Withins' Author,Jhenah Telyndru is from the Sisterhood of Avalon.  This book talks about a healing cycle of self healing, which from further reading on the Sisterhood of Avalon  site is a stong theme of the Sisterhood tradition.  This books lays out the five points on this cycle, Descent, Confrontation, Emergence, Resolution and Integration, these five points are combined to create a cauldron of transformation.  Much of what I have read so far uses imagery from the Avalonian myth cycle, that I have to admit has great appeal.  I always was a fan of the Mists of Avalon by Marian Z Bradley, that book for me was quite seminal in how I understood a witch and priestess to live her life.  

So far I have done several of the meditations from this book, which have worked out well, an is the descent part of the cycle.  I have meet my Avalonian guide and am now becoming acquainted with the huge apple tree which is the mother tree on the Isle of Avalon.  I have also just down loaded the companion CD for this book which can be found on Jhenah Telyndru site. The CD has the several of the meditations read out, so that you can play along at home.  I figure this will make it easer as it can be quite difficult for me to remember where I was meant to be going and who i was meeting.  I did contemplate recording these meditations myself, but then realised that recordings of me sound weird to me so it would end up being to distracting, yeah, so the CD it is.

Next up for me with this book, Avalon Within,  is to visit the healing/reflective pool and see what that has to show me.  Once I have done that I will be ready for the second station or point on the cycle which is the confrontation.  This is where I confront who I am currently and the shadow of who I am.  It is, in a word, confrontational but then that is the point.    A quote from the book sums it up nicely "Confrontation is the deepest point of the Cycle of Healing, the place where the roots of our disconnection and lack of wholeness are brought to light." pg108  The author also points out that this cycle of healing can be difficult the first time you do it, but is not as bad when you repeat the cycle and that this cycle of healing is an ongoing process.  During your lifetime this cycle should be repeated many times, and I am with the author on this one.  I have spend a large amounts of time on this path looking within and trying to figure out what it all means and who I am.  its a thing. *grins*

With the second book Shadow of 13 Moons I have only just started to read it so am unable to give a fuller account.   I am currently reading pg 15, so it is only just introducing what the author means by Shadow and darkness.  I am however finding the book so far quite interesting and thought provoking, in a similar way to how I am finding reading Avalon Within.  There are not a lot of book reviews on Shadow of 13 Moons that I have managed to find, but given what I have read in the book so far and the one book review I also have read, I suspect that it will be one of those books that takes time for it to become popular, or more popular than it currently is.  So I guess we shall see.  

What all this points to is that it is time for me to do some personal work.  Work on who I am, where I am and what I am, deepening of the self as it were. This work will involve exploring the shadow and looking into the dark corners.  I was going to say looking into the dark corners and bring what is in there out into the light, but  i feel that for the part that would be wrong.  My instincts say that shadow self is as much a part of me, as that which is in the light, its just that it is in the shadow, and perhaps not something that should be in the light, unless it should.  Gosh this is becoming circular. *ponders this*  My guess is, this is what the current reading and workings will all be about for me to some degree.  This will be a period of getting to know more about my shadow, as well as getting to know more about the light aspect, it’s a balancing thing. 

I believe the deepening of the self is something that is always going on especially for magical people, or it should be.  This is something that is in so many ways cyclic, where each turning of the cycle reveals a new layer of the deeper self.  Which is also like an onion with its layers. As you peel back one layer more is revealed, and while you are peeling your onion remember that not all the layers and what they reveal should be discarded.  Accepting your whole self, your darkness, your light and every other shade in between should be, as I see it,  the aim of the game.  

Sometimes these cycles of deepening the self are not consciously active or conscious for that matter and at other times they are.  This time for me I have a feeling that this deepening of the self will be a much more concious thing , more mindful, and will probably involve more actions in the form of ritual and meditation.    This of course  comes with several warnings, don’t make shit up, sometimes it is what it is or perhaps not time to look in that dark corner just yet.  But it is however time to actively seek, to dare I say it get jiggy with, the active ritual side of my faith in relation to the deepening of myself.  

I felt the death of summer this morning, and the birth of Autumn, here in New Zealand and the year slip closer to its dark half. We shall see how this deepening of the self all goes as the dark half of the year is a good time for some self reflection.  It may lead to a more active practice, with formal rituals, daily devotions, and a variety of other practices, which for me in some ways is something new as  I have always been less formal in my practices and devotions.  I don’t know how long this will all take, or where it will lead but it will lead somewhere..

The Green Spiral Hoody Dress

So the last little while has been about sewing, and while I waited for my client to come around so we could do a fitting, I decided to experiment with embellishments, on a hoody dress that I have been wanting to make for quite some time, and then I decided to share it with the world.  also I am believe that I will be selling this one.  This hoody dress is a size 14 New Zealand sizing.. which can be found here 

First the Fabric, which is cotton Sweatshirt fabric, so it has a very slight stretch, the almost white, but actually sage is what I made the spirals from, and the brown the main hoody.. the peacock green I might be using on the second one of these I am making for another client.

then i cut the pattern out.

followed by cutting and pinning the spirals.  I enjoyed this bit as it was very creative, and i found out that spirals are pretty easy to freehand cut out, and not to difficult to sew on. Before when I made my wall hangings I used a iron on backing to keep the fabric nice and then zigzaged the edges, but this time I wanted the edges of the spirals to fray a little, which it will as the fabric is a knit, rather than woven.. so two things will happen when washing, this hoody dress, the inside will soften and apparently become a little fuzzy, (maybe I am kind dubious about that) and second the sage green spirals will gain a slightly frayed edge, which will look pretty cool.  !!

 

and then i sewed it all together, and boy did it come out really well.. i am so proud!!

 

I enjoy this type of crafting, it is both creative and technical at the same time.  It also gives my mind a break from the heck strife of my life of late, and when I am done I have something physical in exchange.  I remember once when I read the books Seventh Son by Orson Scott Card, reading about Makers, whos job it was to keep the unmaker, the destroyer away, and when the Alvin, who was the seventh son felt this unmaker close he would make something.  I am not the seventh son of a seventh son but I am the first daughter of the first daughter of a first daughter, and maybe that is similar, however has I have grown over the last few years, a large part of who I am is that person who creates, crafts and sews, and when I do this I veritably imbue it with magic. 

hmm.. *ponders many thoughts*

also if you would like this hoody dress,  please message me, either here or on my email Urbanwitchery (at) gmail

*smiles*

The Element of Land

Photo taken by me!

For the longest time the element of earth confused me, mostly I believe, because I was seeing a picture of the planet earth, and as you know the planet earth contains all of the elements not just one.  It was a very perplexing thing.  

So a few years back, I was re exploring my understanding of the sacred elements.  I travelled with two witchy friends of mine to Castle Point, with the intention of discovering what the element for east was.  You see while I understand that there are ‘traditional’ correspondents for the elements and directions, I live in New Zealand, and our seasons and circle casting is opposite to that of the northern hemisphere and seeing as I believe in practising in the land you live rather than trying to fit something from another land, so to speak, I was curious as to see what would happen.  

Castle Point, Photo taken by Chris Seaman

Of course I had not been specific when asking about the direction I was and elements, however the message I got back in regards to the elements, was the following impressions which I have translated into words: Land, Ocean, Wind, and Fire, somewhat different from Earth, Air, Fire and Water.  When I enquired further about Land in relation to the elemental energies of earth, I was given a vision if you will. 

 I turned away from facing the ocean and faced towards the land, I was sitting on the saddle, that is the huge sticky up bit you can see in the photo.  As I sunk my awareness down into the earth, I stared to feel the land.  I started to feel the energies of the people who had lived on that land before.  As I spread my awareness down through the various layers of soil and into the distance, I could feel the farmers who made their living on the land, holiday makers who came and went, the settlers, who cut down the trees, and created the farms that the farmers now lived on and the Maori and the lives that they had lived.  Then I shifted deeper into the soil and land itself, and could feel how the soil feed the plant life, and made homes for some of our native birds, along with several of our import.  The land was showing me something here, it was the energies and wisdom of those that had lived and live on it.  It is difficult to explain in words as I was receiving emotions, which loosely translated into images, not really anything that was spoken.  But then this has been how I have always done this type of thing.  And boy did it take me years to figure that one out, but I digress, and perhaps is a subject for post another day. 

This energy these pictures of Farmers, Holiday Makers, Settlers, Maori and the fauna and flora living on the land was part of the energy of this element of earth, the land.   Which is quite different from my initial image of the Planet Earth, go figure *coughs*  

So what did I learn through all of this?  Apart from the obvious learning in a very visual way the more about the element Earth, or what I now refer to as Land. I also learned that learning about the elements is an on-going process, and as you yourself progress and deepening your understanding of magic, and your own path, so to you deepen your understanding of the elements, kind of a hand in hand thing.  

I am currently furthering that understanding by doing the elemental meditations by Philip Carr-Gomm, called Wild Wisdom Meditations with Earth, Water, Air & Fire, and these if you are interested are very good and can be found here at CD baby.  These meditations are also good for beginners, to start their journey to understanding the elements. 

Robes not sacks

So After going to Druid Camp Aotearoa, at the Grove of the Summer Stars, one of the Druids who is travelling to England in June, asked me to make her a Robe and Tabbard, so that she has nice ritual wear for England.  As we were discussion styles and designs, i got to wondering, so many druid robes of have seen are, to put it frankly sacks with arms, not flattering, and if you are a shapely woman, or man then would it not make sense to have a more fitted robe?  but then it is also down to personal preference, just like some people like to have robes for rituals, others don't.  But then perhaps some people shy away from robes because of their sack like design.  then there are the robes that re reminiscent of medieval gowns, which are not really my thing..  anyway, i figured it would be nice to see what i am currently sewing for this lady as it is in my opinion quite beautiful!!

This is the fabric and pattern that has been choose.  The turquoise at the back is the Dress/robe with the pattern for the Dress robe in the front.  the royal blue and light blue are for the tabard, which will go over the Robe.  on the tabard will be an awen and goddess appliqué the goddess on the back and the awen on the front.  i am also making a small bag from the remainder of the patterned fabric.  the gold and silver as also for the appliqué

the pattern actually took quite some time to lay out as there was not actually enough, but lucky in one of my fabric boxes was some shot silk, well kinda silk which matched both the turquoise and royal blue..

here is a pic of the of the extra fabric in comparison to the turquoise.  its difficult to get in pictures as it changes and shifts in the light. 

so now we have gotten to the stage of need for fitting, and their is no arms sewing on it as yet.  Once the dress/robe is finished then i can make start o the tabard..

this satruday there will be a fitting and i will be able to put the arms on, and hem it.. whoot.  the colours remind me of a paua shell, which has the similar colours of turquoise and royal blue

so gentle readers, if you were to have robes made what would they look like and why?

I'm on a Pagan Podcast!!

which is exciting as it is one of my favourite podcasts!!  whee.. so if you wanna listen to what i said, and Mysti, cause that is pretty interesting as well.. you can go download it from here http://www.stonegatepodshow.net/  also i do recommend standing stone and garden gate, as it is an excellent podcast full of very thought provoking stuff and wonderful Canadian accents.. *grins*  you can read my review of Standing Stone Garden Gate here

but gosh it has made me weirdly wistful for Canada, and the Awesome Canadian Pagans  who i meet while i was over there..  *is wistful*

so please go listen and tell me what you think.. cause i would like to know.. *smiles*

Me at Kaleidoscope Gathering in Canadia whee!!

do be do

Witches Work

What is this elusive work that magical workers talk about? I ponder one Tuesday morning at work.  You see here where I live the pagan community is still very young and getting groups together, whether organically or with purpose, is like grasping at rainbow caused by prisms hung in a window to catch the sun. 
This weekend a fellow witch came around and we talked about this.  “are people afraid to work with each other?” he asked.  I know that often magical work can be quite personal.  Delving into the shadow can cause tears and tantrums which, for the average kiwi whose nature is generally rather reserved to start with, can be quite difficult to think of doing this with other people.  Hell we Kiwipagans have issues raising our voices above a whisper let alone actually do any sort of chanting in a ritual. O.o

But again what is this work and what does it look like? 
Well my ‘work’ looks different from that of my Fellow Witch who came to visit on Sunday.  That much is pretty obvious even to the causal observer, but let me expand on this for a moment.  Take for instance the winter Solstice.  For me and given what has/had been happening I felt drawn to an all night vigil, instead of trooping out to concrete henge Stonehenge Aotearoa, over the hill to celebrate the longest night with those from the wider pagan community.  My Fellow Witch however did attend the public ritual  which, he says  went very well.  I do not know if he did any ‘work’ because I didn’t ask.  But during a numerous cups of tea on Sunday afternoon he did say that he generally did a lot of work during more formal ceremonial and ritual setting.
Which got me to thinking so if my work, in this instance, some shadow work was done during an all night vigil at my house while several teens were partying on in the other room and my fellow witches work is done during a ritual setting how does the average pagan know when there is work to be done, or what from this work will take?  It is one of those instances where the books say “deep personal work will always be done on the Sabbat with your coven mates in the form of highly ceremonial rituals, with powerful magic’s and people to catch you should you fall”.. When in all reality a lot of us are pretty much solitary (especially here in NZ,) and we have not yet found a coven, group or circle that we would be happy sharing such things with or we are not really drawn to coven work. 
Again what is this work, and baring belonging to a good working coven group or circle, what does it look like? 

On the one hand a witches work can come in many different forms, from talking to a lady at the bus stop who looks warn and is carrying and empty cat cage, because you can feel her grief and you know that she needs someone to share the grief with, to deeply personal internal work which is so that you can talk to that lady at the buss stop who is carrying an empty cat cage with sympathy and understanding.  However for the purpose of this blogg post I am mostly talking about personal work. 

Personal work is not always ‘shadow’ work, in my opinion, although you have to admit a lot of personal work gets done when the shadow self flairs up and acts like a dementor.  That being said personal work can also be done when the light is strong and you are feeling like you are on top of the world.  It is all a matter of perspective and given that it is personal work, a deeper understanding of, not just yourself but of others who you can recognise as similar.
This is all very well and good, but just how does a person do personal work?  If you are like me and not ceremonially based as such then sometimes to the outside observer my personal work can look like not much at all, for example my solstice vigil.  Because of the theme of ‘circumstances beyond my control’ funnily enough my choice of days of when I would be doing my vigil where also out of my control, but then that was also a large part of my personal work for that evening.  Ideally I would have liked to stay up all night with a trusted fellow pagan, or failing that have a quiet filled evening with a long ritual baths, tea and food, but alas I had a house full of young strangers who were attending a b’day party of the TAB, (teenage boy or as his mum calls him the Youth of Today.)  This was not a loud party by any stretch of the imagination but 7 teenagers on the preface of adulthood can make quite a bit of noise.  So while the teens hung out in our lounge playing play station and a variety of games, some even going to so far as to get teenage cooties on my chair. O.o  I was doing my vigil in my room. 

For my solstice vigil I hung out in my room, I spent most of the evening  tidying up my clothes and cleaning several altar spaces, with occasional breaks for cups of tea and then hiding back into my room from the teenagers err I mean surfing the internet.  During all that time I was also contemplating the particularly shadow that I was dealing with, with questions such as why? how? and where did that come from.  Occasionally there was thoughts of  eww teenage cooties on my chair!!  but for the most part I was working on the shadow at hand.  Early in the evening this was interspersed with bouts of laughter with my flatmate who was just as bemused at the antics of the teens as I was.  Later in the wee hours of the morning after my flatmate had gone to bed there were further venture out to the kitchen for cups of tea and a lot more contemplation. 
To the outside observer it looked like not much, apart from hanging out in my room drinking cups of tea.  Sure there were candles going in my room and incense burning in the burner but as far as ritual gear, clothing or otherwise it was pretty noon existent. 

So how was this different from any other night that I had spent in my room drinking tea and avoiding teenagers, I would have to say intent, my intent that evening was to see in the longest night, (well near enough) fare-welling our very odd winter, heralding in the lengthening of days, and doing some pondering on a shadow aspect of myself.  So my the end of the night while very tired I was calm, things were more settled in my mind and soul and I could feel the light filling the shadows, where imbalance was before.   In some ways it was a dark night of the soul, a little death of sorts, and I am working on balance but then that is the way of this path. 

So I guess the purpose of sharing this is to say that work, magical work can take many forms, for some it is all about high ritual, timing, ritual tools and robes or not.  For others this type of internal work can take the form of a long bath with some self contemplation followed by journaling in a quite space that has been set up before hand or it can be an unplanned vigil, with cups of tea teenage cooties and quite contemplation in the wee hours of the morning.  But it is all magical work, or one aspect of magical work.  I am leaning as I travel down this path that once you get past the big showy stuff it is often the small stuff that has the biggest power. 

In lue of actually writing something

and to remind you, all two of you who read this that i am still here, and still wanting to write stuff, but alas, have not found a topic with which to write about here are some links to excellent blog posts written by some of my favourite bloggers ok two.. *cough*.. anyways.. the reason behind posting these links is that not only are the blog posts interesting and thought provoking but so to are the replies. so often today when reading articles blogs and news articles on line, it pays to stay away from the comments, they are so often littered with mindless knowitalls, who are happy to tell you that you are wrong and they are right and here is why, as apposed to discussing the content of the post.. but this time, i believe i got as much out of the initial post as i did the comments.. which is yay!!



so first up entheogens and Self control By Sarah Lawless ( wish she lived closer so to make stalking easer. *cough*)

Entheogens And Self Control/



Second is another of Ms Sarahs Lawless's posts, about oversharing in your bloggposts.. now this is quite interesting as i figure that we are all prone to such things when we first start out. It is I figure a personal decision and thought process to decided where you line is, how much is good sharing and how much is not? And how does that change when you write on a sometime anonymous blogg verses a conversation with your neighbour. “why yes today my undies are yellow and brown and are actually thundrpants the best underpants in the whole wide world” is much better on a blogg than telling your neighbour, even when they are staring at afore mentioned undies on your washing line.


I guess as we get older telling everyone that you know when the spirit of your grandmother is in your house cause it leaves a smell of lavender and oil of olay is perhaps over-share, in some places but not so in others. i can remember when i was interviewed for Raido New Zealand, I pretty much kept the answers to pretty mundane stuff, national radio listeners didn't really need to know about my grandmother or the voices. Red pills blue pills choices choices. However when we had a memorial at home for my flatmates mother, telling a couple of her friends, who were awesome little old lady’s was appropriate , cause it cause an interesting conversation about ancestors and how their presents is sometimes noted. Anyway… here is Sarahs Blogg Post there is some interesting discussion going on in the comments.. it certainly gave me some interesting food for thought..

Oversharing Witches



third on the list is a post by Juniper the Hedgewitch on the funeral of a crow that was found dead.. its one of those read between the lines things, there is a wealth of information if you are willing to work for it.. <--- is suspect that this is a hedgwitch thing.. at first a hedge just lookes like bushes all lined up, until you take your time and look further..anyhoo



An Unexpected Funeral



and the last post is also from Juni, how to rehome a spirit in a suite of armour.. I liked this one cause well how do you rehome a spirit that lives in a suite of armour or anywhere actually.. why are they there? What is the purpose? What sort of spirit is Sir Knight?? Is he a buildup of the energy in the house from the inhabitants that is now manifested?? *ponders spirits*. Or is he something else did he come with the suit of armour?? So much to ponder..



Meet Sir Knight



right then have at it.